Anne and the passive agressive post-its

I was playing the game Cards against Humanity the other day. Buy it, play it, its wonderful. I got this card:

It reminded me of a little story on my ex-roommate’s favourite means of communication. But first of all let me tell you a bit about the background: I moved into a shared apartment for two months this spring. With two girls. I made the mistake of previously only talking to the guy who i was subletting from. He was super cool. Chilled, smokes lots of weed, told me I could use and do whatever. Seemed like I would have a great time there. Oh boy, was I wrong.

Introducing my roommates:

• Jenny: 19, graphic design student. Cool girl, no complaints or drama potential from my side.
• Anne: 26, studied nutrition science, now doing an apprenticeship in natural health (Heilpraktiker), vegan, basically living of green smoothies. I think you always have to be suspicious of people like that 😉

My experience from previous flats is this: You buy your own food, but share some basics, such as spices, oil, toilet paper etc. If you finish something that you share, you simply buy it. Whoever finally takes the big pile of empty bottles to the supermarket, buys something for the apartment or keeps the money – usually no one really cares as long as the bottles are gone. It’s ok to have people over on a Saturday night to watch TV, if you wanna have more people over / be noisy, you ask your roommates in advance. Whoever sleeps in your room is your business. If you make a mess, you clean it up. If something bothers you, you go up and talk to the person.

So I went and lived exactly like that. We all seemed to get along just fine for the first five weeks. Honestly, Anne was super nice. I could have never imagined that she secretly despised me. However, one day I realize that she is carrying her salt, pepper and oil in and out of her room whenever she needs it in the kitchen. Weird, I thought, but didn’t really care.Then I come home to find this on the kitchen table:

(Marina, please buy new one) Passive aggressive, anyone?! And I am pretty sure, I did not finish that vinegar. But being the good roommate that I am, I follow the official house rules and get a new bottle. Apparently she lacks massive communication skills. It is only 4 more weeks till I move out and I can’t be bothered to get into a fight about this so I simply forget about the post-it. A week or so later I walk into the kitchen and see her post-it block lying on the table and instantly I start searching for my next clue. She didn’t disappoint. I found this by the sink:

(Put kitchen boards on the sink to dry, not on the wood)

Little sidenote: that was my birthday. She knew. Didn’t stop her from being a pain. It literally made my day. Mostly since I think 2 spelling mistakes in 11 words is a pretty solid achievement. When I finally moved out on April 26th I left her a present: A brand new post-it block with 5 different colours. She probably loved it! The communication fails did not stop at post-its, therefore next time I will tell you about the very funny texts I received. Stay tuned.

Anne – the original #roommatefromhell – my evil list

If you follow me on Facebook, you have probably read about my #roommatefromhell stories. Her Name is Anne (it’s not but let’s call her that) and a hell of a lot of things went wrong between me and her.

Anne thinks I am the absolute worst roommate or possibly worst person in the world, and to kick this blog party of, I am giving you a list of things she bitched to me about (mostly via post-it’s since she was always super nice to my face). Over the next days/weeks I will post some of the background stories here. Until then, here comes the evil list: (I swear all of this is stuff she actually said – I got some audio recordings to, but let’s save that for later).

• having 5 (5!!!) people over i a period of 2 months. Reason of evil: Extra people mean extra costs, eg. if they use the shower or flush the toilet (!!!)
• Using her salt and pepper. Reason of evil: Anne does not share salt! I put a lot of spices into the shelf and assumed we would just share them. Then I realized a few weeks later she was carrying her own salt and pepper in and out of the kitchen whenever she made food.
• Coming home at 2 AM in the morning. Reason of evil: Her room was right next to my room, so it is possible that she would hear me. Absolute no go!
• Watching TV with a friend on a Saturday night. Reason of evil: We should be sitting in my room (because obviously the living room is only there to dry clothes), especially since my friend was having a little cold and was spreading her virus all over the living room. -How dare she cough.
• Having weird friends. She only met 2 people (Maddie and Vera thank you very much for being so rude and obnoxious ;)) but wouldn’t let me have my birthday party at home. Reason for evil: She was afraid they might steal stuff (there is realls NOTHING to steal in that apartment). She actually started locking her door when she left the apartment.
• Taking the overcrowding pile of empty bottles to the supermarket and buying toilet paper and kitchen towels with the money: Reason of evil: Some of it is her money and how dare I use that money to buy toilet paper.
• (As an add-on to the bottle story:) Buying the wrong toilet paper.
• Using „her“ couch in the living room. Reason for evil: It’s her dirty old couch so how dare someone sit on it. My friend Vera once went to chill in the living room, while I was still sleeping. I am awoken by a text message from Anne telling me the living room is not a guest room!
• Having people stay over night and sleeping in my room without letting her know first. Reason of evil: No reason, simply intolerable.

These are pretty much the highlights. I will share some of the details with you soon! Keep checking in!